7:15am, blood drawn, check! The monitoring clinic happens to be just 2 miles down the road from work, so I made it to work very early to get some things done and wait..........and wait.........and wait. By the time the mid afternoon rolled around, we decided to look into what was taking so long to get the results. The lab claimed to have sent the results and the clinic claimed that they still hadn't received them..........several times over the next hour until FINALLY, my phone rings.......it's Dr. Smotrich and he sounds so nice, as always. He says my beta number is 58.........what?! I seriously felt like someone just punched me in the gut. I understand that "anything over 50 is considered positive", but I hear beta numbers coming in to our agency all the time and 58 was the lowest "positive" if it is even positive. I was expecting the numbers to be at least double that at this point, or simply nothing at all. I was expecting a "yes, you're really pregnant!" or a "no, I'm sorry, you're not, but we'll try again soon", not this "well, you COULD be, we'll know more Thursday." I still don't know how to feel and I've had a full nights sleep. I know I feel bummed, sad, and anxious for Thursday to come. I also told the clinic that I think it would be best if they were the ones to tell my IPs. My IPs were on a long flight back to Israel and would be returning around 7:00pm (my time) tonight.............or so I thought! My phone rang at 7:45am and it was them, wondering what the results were. I did my best to stifle my disappointment but it was hard. I told them that I am cautiously optimistic and that Dr. Smotrich is, too. I feel bad that I don't have the exciting, promising, long awaited results to share with them after their long trip home. I had envisioned what it would be like to tell T&Y good news, and this was nothing like what I had hoped. But they said they are with me 100% and that is exactly why I feel that I couldn't have been matched with a better couple.......they are simply amazing and so supportive. All of my friends, family, co-workers, Melissa, I am so thankful to have people cheering me on and supporting me, I couldn't ask for a better support system.
Thursday can't come soon enough!
I am usually eager for the end of the week but now I am even more eager! Come on, Thursday!
ReplyDeleteWhether this cycle works or you have to do another one... I am certain this journey will be successful for you.
My fingers are still crossed for high numbers!!
How far along are you? 58 sounds pretty good to me. I thought anything over ten was positive.
ReplyDeleteI too think 58 sounds positive! From what I understand it's more important that your numbers double over the next 48-72 hours for your second beta and likewise for your third if your dr. chooses to do another. Hang in there I know the waiting is so so tough.
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