Intended Parents - T&Y

The matching coordinator asked me one day "do you happen to have any potential surrogates completing the screening process who fit these requirements - at least 5'6", Minnesota resident, willing to carry twins, etc.". I thought for a moment, double checked the list of ladies that I had been working with - nope.........wait.........yes, me! She instructed me to finish the screening process, which meant; psychological evaluation and our physician's approval of my pregnancy and delivery records. I completed both before my profile was sent to these potential intended parents. I took a peek at their autobiography and decided that they were definitely worth getting to know.  Although I'll be honest, the thought of carrying twins scares the crap outta me - I will probably mention that a LOT during my posts.

The matching coordinator, intended parents (T&Y), and myself, introduced ourselves to one another over the phone on 4/2/12. We each had a list of topics to consider and I already had a few questions in mind. My initial impression of them was that they were very nervous and quiet. Although they are not from the United States, their English is even better than a lot of Americans I know. As our conversation progressed, we became more comfortable with each other. We discussed our lifestyles; mine is plain and boring, which is good for being a surrogate:), my job, the potential hospital and delivery room arrangements, etc. When I said "I would like you to be in the room to welcome your child/ren"........the sound of relief, pure joy and appreciation in their voices, made me melt. I hadn't put a lot of effort into my hair that morning, but at that moment I had really wished we were talking via Skype, just so they could see how much they made me smile during our conversation. These are my parents!

I often describe the matching process to potential surrogates when we talk during the intake call, but until 4/2/12, I wasn't able to speak from experience. We have a long road ahead of us and I am not one to throw caution to the wind with these things. I wasn't even planning to start "publishing" a blog until after I could positively say that I had peed on a stick and had a positive result (or hundreds of them, because I'm sure that's what I'll do). But I'm just so excited and I think getting to this point is even exciting in itself. Of course I look forward to the future and my only true hope is to be successful in carrying a baby (or two) for these wonderful people. I want to turn them from intended parents into parents.  

The screening process

I began the screening process with IARC in the spring/summer of 2011. Initially I had intended to fill out the application and gather my materials, send it back, and move on with the rest of the process. But I was under a lot of stress at work and while it continued to worsen, I made the decision to place my status "on hold". My thoughts at that moment were: "ok, I'll continue to look for another job and once I re-gain my sanity (or as much as I possibly can at this point!), I'll continue the process". I continued to casually search for positions that I thought I would enjoy and know a little bit about. I'm NOT a fan of change and will avoid it at all costs. This definitely includes employment. I have a degree in Law Enforcement and entertained the idea of picking up where I once left off, applying for open Police Officer positions. All I knew for sure was that I was incredibly unhappy with my employer and that I needed to go somewhere else. When I saw the post for IARC's Surrogate Coordinator position, I applied with the impression that, because they were giving kudos to those that were bilingual, I didn't stand a chance. I know a little bit of Spanish......Muy Bien! Oh, and let's not forget that I can sign the alphabet - that doesn't help, does it?! Fast forward to when I had my interview with "the girls" at IARC. They were wonderful and I could totally see myself working with them. I came from a place where I was the only employee, and while I sometimes enjoy working alone, I missed the friendship that I once had with co-workers. I was offered the position (obviously, here I am!), and gladly accepted. There was a LOT to learn and I guess I came to the right place! I completely expected my initial desire to be a surrogate to be crushed and completely sabotaged by knowing what "really" happens behind the scenes of surrogacy. I was wrong. Not only was I still interested, I was determined. After learning the ropes a little bit and settling in as best as I could, I approached the director, Steve, with my hopeful intentions of moving forward with this "journey". There was some discussion to be had between my co-workers, but in the end we agreed that this could happen.

How it came to be

People often ask, "how did you become interested in surrogacy"? I'll keep this short and sweet - I've known about surrogacy for about 10 years now, although not much in the beginning, it was enough to get me interested in the idea and it continued to grow on me. I came to know the International Assisted Reproduction Center (IARC) as I began screening as a potential surrogate. It was only afterwards that IARC became more than an agency for me, they became my employer. It's important for people to understand that my interest in becoming a surrogate came before my employment as a surrogate coordinator and educator. The reasons for wanting to be a surrogate are simple for me; I wanted to help create a family while also enjoying the experience of giving such a gift. I'm what you would call an "altruistic" potential surrogate. This isn't about money, gifts, etc. For some surrogates, it is, and it's incredibly hard for me to comprehend how they can sleep at night.........but I DO realize that we all have our own opinions and reasons for doing things so I'll concentrate on mine:)

My intentions are to blog my experiences as a surrogate so others can learn, laugh, and join in while I do something I have only dreamed of doing, until now! I truly hope that this will be a very positive experience for everyone involved. I'm excited, anxious, nervous, happy, giddy, and ready to get this show on the road!