The last couple of days have been a whirlwind. I still have to remind myself that I am no longer pregnant (not that I've really changed anything, except discontinued the meds). Tuesday I was told that we needed to schedule a D&C ASAP and I was able to get in to see a doctor for a "pre-op" that same evening. Tuesday night I didn't sleep, I remember dreaming about the doctor finding a heartbeat right before the procedure and I remember dreaming about the procedure over and over, and then I laid awake the rest of the night.
Wednesday morning I went in for the D&C. The thought of what happens during a D&C and what could happen as a result, although unlikely (touching the cervix, puncturing or scarring the uterus, not getting "everything" and having a repeat, etc.) was what scared me the most. Truthfully it was MUCH better than I had expected. My mom brought me and it was done and over with before I even knew it (thanks to the anesthesia) and I went home to rest for the day while my mom took good care of me. It wasn't painful and I've had minimal bleeding and cramping, so I'm feeling pretty good. Emotionally, Tuesday was the worst day with the initial shock of realizing the loss and I think it's best that it's over with after having the procedure almost immediately so I know that we can move forward in the near future. I also think it was best so I wouldn't have to live each day in fear of the impending miscarriage. T & Y have been so supportive and caring, I can't even put in to words how thankful I am to have them as my team, they will make such wonderful parents and I can't wait to be the one to help them become a family. They made a very good point and said that the worst has already happened (the loss) so there are only good things to come, and they're right, we're very optimistic.
I go back to work on Monday, if it hadn't been for the medications that I need to be on after the procedure (made me feel dizzy, tired, and nauseous), I would have gone back to work immediately. It helps that my co-workers can understand the situation and they are very supportive.
If all goes well with the healing, I will need to get two periods before we start meds for another cycle and prepare for the transfer (so January or February, if we're lucky!). I am ready to jump back on the horse and make these guys Daddies.
Thank you all for your kind, supportive, thoughtful, and loving words, I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it. I'm sorry for the intended parents (now parents:) and surrogates who have suffered losses and it helps to know we're not alone and that there can be a happy ending.
Melissa, I'll always appreciate your advice and support, thank you for the shout-out and I hope you have a blast visiting those adorable babies and their daddies!
