Today marks 24 weeks 3 days and we're still chugging along. I had my regular OB appointment last week and an ultrasound yesterday to keep tabs on the twins' growth. At my regular OB appointment I mentioned to my OB that I started having some sciatic and back pain and had still not seen much, if any, relief from the severe fatigue/weakness/exhaustion that I feel every day. In fact, my exhaustion has become quite unbearable for most of every day now. My blood pressure was 84/54, which I understand is low for most people and can be a major contributor to lack of energy and lethargy, but mine has always been that low and hasn't ever given me this many issues. My OB said he'd check my hemoglobin next visit, along with my glucose intolerance test. I wasn't thrilled about waiting another 4 weeks to find out whether or not I'm anemic, but I figured I didn't really have a choice. Fast forward to today, we're 3 days into the work week and I've contemplated going home from work every single morning (don't even get me started on the mental process it takes just to get to work every morning) because I just can't handle it. It's even hard to breathe. I sent my OB a message basically begging him to send me to the lab and VIOLA, I go tomorrow evening. This is one of those rare occasions where I really HOPE they FIND something, so they can FIX it :) At 24 weeks my uterus was measuring 28 cm, which is about 28 weeks. Although it's very normal to measure 4 weeks ahead during a twin pregnancy, it doesn't chase away the panicky feeling of "just how big are we going to get?!" I think about it a lot.
I've gained 9 lbs. so far, and that doesn't go without a lot of hard work and resistance. I resist VERY strong urges to eat sweets ALL the time. I still indulge occasionally, mostly on the weekends. But I don't have the energy to get much exercise, so I try my best to eat as healthy as I can to make up for part of my lack of activity. Back to the indulging on certain occasions, last weekend was one of those occasions. Kaleb and I went with a friend of mine and her little girl to a city festival with lots of fun things for the kids and lots of junk food. I was totally focused on getting my mini-doughnuts fix. I L-O-V-E mini doughnuts, as long as they're "done right" and fresh. They were well worth the wait and SO delicious :) The kids visited the petting zoo and we walked around quite a bit. It was a fun day for us.
Tuesday I had an ultrasound at the perinatologist (this will continue throughout the pregnancy to check on the babies' growth and will become more and more frequent as we move along). I was very anxious to find out the positions of the babies because as much as I can guess, you just never know until you get them on camera. As I guessed, Baby A is head down (yay!) and Baby B is breech. Baby B is harder to tell because I feel movement from her all over the place and I couldn't really tell whether she was breech or head down, or transverse. I'm just happy that Baby A is being cooperative, although I know that things can and will most likely change a few times over the next few weeks. Both babies are doing very well. Baby A is estimated to be 1 lb. 13 oz. and Baby B is estimated to be 1 lb. 10 oz. They are in the 75th and 60th percentile for their sizes, which is what would be expected for a singleton. The perinatologist assured me that they expect to see them "drop off the chart" and get down to about the 30th percentile eventually and that I will most likely not be giving birth to twins that are 8.5 lbs. each. I'm going to hold her to that! I know these babies are big and I'm happy that they are still growing so well, but it's scary to think about how much room they will take up as they get even bigger, while I already feel pretty stretched out. If I didn't say this in my last post, I am definitely bigger now than I was when I gave birth to Kaleb. T & Y have re-assured me that they were not monstrous in size when they were born, and their egg donor is "petite" (I didn't think so, but T & Y are very tall, so average is petite to them). We just won't know until these babies make their appearance.
I will go back for the infamous glucose intolerance test, or "sugar test" as T & Y refer to it, in another 3 weeks. I don't remember it being so bad when I was pregnant with Kaleb. I remember the sugary drink wasn't the most appetizing, but it didn't make me sick, either. I don't recall feeling any effects from all the sugar, either. But after reading about all these other ladies' experiences with the glucose testing, I feel like I should expect a totally different experience than what I had. Maybe the fact that I'm older now, carrying twins, and really not used to sugar, will really throw me for a loop that day. I could stand to have whatever energy it might give me, even if only for 30 seconds. I just hope it doesn't make me feel "off" the rest of the day. Maybe having the appointment at 8:30am isn't such a good idea?? I don't really think I'll have issues with gestational diabetes, but it's been mentioned, due to Baby A's size, that it very well could be, although I'm not showing any other signs of it. I have a feeling I'll pass. I just hope it's the 1 hour test that I pass and that I don't have to go through the shenanigans of the 3 hour test.
22 weeks...........................
23 weeks 1 day......................
24 weeks...............................
We are finally getting some decent weather here in Minnesota. Yes! Terry and I have been going on walks almost daily while Kaleb rides his bike. It is good exercise for me and therapeutic with this heat (I LOVE the heat and even welcome the extreme humidity).
I'm not sure if it's due to the added heat, or the fact that I don't typically have a chance to get off my feet until I crawl into bed at night, but my ankles are already swelling a little. Lately, when I'm planning on a busy day, I use the term "I'm going to plan it by cankles" :).
I'm feeling the babies move more and more every day, which is a good feeling. Baby A is definitely not head down anymore, unless he has ape-like arms and the freakish ability to reach over his head to punch my cervix, I'm willing to bet it's the pitter-patter of little dancing feet on my cervix that I feel. I had an appointment with my OB over the past week and a half and T&Y were able to join in via phone to "meet" the doctor. They mentioned the difference in the babies' sizes and how Baby A didn't appear to be as active as his sister. I was sure to let them know that Baby A IS very active lately and that I could feel him on my cervix and they were happy to hear that and wondered if it was a "nice feeling" or uncomfortable. I told them it was a weird feeling, but not at all painful....yet. Baby B is still tucked transverse breech across the top of my uterus. She moves quite a bit, too, mostly kicking me in various places, which proves that she is still finding room to do her somersaults. It is very odd to feel 4 sets of limbs instead of just 2.
I have been looking into the "Spinning Babies" theory online for a while now because I want to be sure that I do everything possible to help the babies remain head down for a vaginal birth (well, Baby A at the very least). It's an interesting concept and I'll admit I'm still skeptical. There is an exercise where a pregnant woman inverts herself into a forward position, with the bottom half of her body propped and elevated (on the couch) and her upper body bracing herself on the floor (almost like a supported headstand), to allow stretching of the uterine ligaments, giving the baby/babies more room to move and allow gravity to take it's course to help them into the vertex (head down) position. I figured I'd give it a shot last week. You invert yourself for 30 seconds, or 3 breaths, and then you're done. No big deal, right? Ha! It warned women who were at risk for a stroke, not to do this exercise. Now, I am not at risk of having a stroke, that I'm aware of, but after that exercise......I might be! The amount of blood that immediately rushed to my head was horrendous. Thankfully it's only 30 seconds. I'll try to keep it up once every day. I'm interested to see if it works, or at least helps. So far I feel like it has "lifted" my uterus out of my pelvis a bit more, which is nice for all 3 of us.
At my last appointment I had put on a total of 7 lbs. Now, 7 lbs. isn't a lot, I know, but more than half of it had been gained over the course of just 3 weeks. Whoa! And I'm still steadily gaining. I've tried to keep myself from doing the math because I know it will just freak me out. I kept thinking "at this rate......" but I know that things change constantly throughout pregnancy. I already have, what seems like, an insatiable appetite and the babies will take more and more from me so things should even out, right?! At week 20 I was really starting to show and I think I passed the "is she fat? or...?" stage. But THIS week......holy shit is all I can say. Again, at this rate......really freaks me out. Everyone seems eager to point it out to me, too. I keep getting comments from people like "whoa, you're belly sure has grown!" and this is coming from people I see EVERY day. I've been taking pictures every week to share with T&Y, but I swear the camera makes me look MUCH smaller than I am. I know I'm not big yet, but when I look down, I see belly......lots and lots of belly. I definitely feel the stretching in my muscles in my back and it's pretty uncomfortable already. I totally dismissed the thought of needing a chiropractor at the beginning of this and now I totally get it when surrogates insist on putting chiropractic care in their contracts. I missed that train by a long shot. I will need a chiropractor if I'm going to survive this pregnancy. I totally underestimated what it would feel like to have this rapid growth. I'm now the size I was when I gave birth to my son.
Because of the winter weather we were having up until the past few weeks (hard to believe we had a snow storm just last month?!), I had a hard time gauging what to buy for maternity clothing. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post or not, but any type of shopping causes a strange anxiety for me. I don't like shopping. I constantly second, no wait, quadruple guess everything I put in my cart, or put back, or take back and put back in my cart, or purchase, or return, or buy again.........I shop alone. Most store employees probably assume I'm casing the place or have some neurotic OCD issue (which I kind of do, too :). Maternity clothes shopping........oh man. Now, not only do I have to make a decision on whether or not to buy it because "will I wear it enough to make it worth it?", now add in the "will this fit me in a few weeks?" "is this practical?" "will I find it cheaper somewhere else?", etc. One word.....Goodwill. I will never bash that place again. I've been a Goodwill stalker for the past year and am KICKING myself for all the wasted purchases of brand new things (mostly Kaleb's clothes) when I could have saved and been more practical. Well, I made the mistake of shopping at the mall last Saturday, with the assumption that I'd finally find the maternity capris that I so badly needed. I battled with and finally began to accept the fact that pretty much every store that had maternity capris was charging $50 for a pair of pants that I didn't even like. We shopped for hours. I bought a couple of shirts, a couple of dresses, but did not find the much needed capris. I learned right away during this pregnancy that maternity sections are scarce and we're lucky to find more than one rack of clothing to choose from. The selections are moo-moo or non-moo-moo? XXXL, or XXS/invisible? Hmmmmm. I went home discouraged, stressed (I'm serious, this is how bad I am with shopping, I despise what it does to me). I spent about 2 hours on the computer looking for capris on craigslist, ebay, other stores online. Nothing (well, I FOUND them, but then it's "will they fit?"). I decided to hit up the local Goodwill the next morning. I promised Terry I'd be about 5 minutes because I'd most likely leave empty handed. Boy was I wrong! I spent an hour and left sweaty, smiling, and with a bag chalk full of the solution to my massive irrational problem. I bought a pair of white maternity pants, maternity jeans, maternity shorts, maternity CAPRIS, a jean jacket to go with the dresses that I bought the day before, and a couple more dresses! I'm still so incredibly giddy over that trip. I wore my new white pants and a shirt today. Loved it! Would you believe I'm already battling with what to do with the maternity clothes when this is all over? I could stand to never maternity shop again :)
20 weeks....--->
and 21 weeks 1 day....--->
Ok, so now that I see them side by side, it doesn't look much different........maybe next week.
Last week I received a voicemail from my OB that said "I want to talk to you about your last test results." Uh-oh. He was referring to the 2nd part of the 1st trimester screening/Nuchal Transcluceny. I've heard SO many surrogates who have carried twins, have this happen, and everything turns out just fine. The blood test is not nearly as accurate for twin pregnancies. I WAS frustrated, I'll admit that. I felt that it only caused more unnecessary fear, stress, and concern for all of us and I seriously just want things to go smoothly from here on out. Poor T&Y and all the worry this pregnancy has caused. Those guys are amazing at keeping their sh*t together...I've lost mine so many times and we're just half-way through! Thank God these babies are genetically related to them, ha ha!
The next step was to schedule an ultrasound with the perinatologist (specialist) and determine whether abnormalities were present or not. If abnormalities were found, further testing.....ahem...amniocentesis, would be preformed. For those of you who do not know what an amniocentesis is, or what my thoughts and feelings are regarding the amnio....read on. First, the pure thought of an amniocentesis scares the sh*t out of me. There's my thoughts on that. An amniocentesis is a test that requires the insertion of a somewhat larger gauged needle through the abdomen to collect and test amniotic fluid and possibly other tissues from the fetuses. Although I've never had one, I understand that they are NOT pleasant and quite painful and there is argument that they can be very risky for the pregnancy (here in the U.S we think they are somewhat risky, in other countries they would disagree). When matching with T&Y, one of the topics we discussed was what my feeling were regarding amniocentesis. In Israel, testing, multiple ultrasounds, etc., are preformed WAY more during pregnancy than we do here in the U.S. Here in the U.S we are relatively hands-off. An amnio in Israel is typical and considered minor and normal, a lot of intended parents don't think much of them and can sometimes expect a surrogate to just agree to have one preformed, even when there is no test result to indicate a need for one. I said that I would only allow an amnio to be preformed if there was a significant need for it. Of course I would never reject further testing that is needed to determine abnormalities. But I wasn't agreeing to an amnio "just because". T&Y were ok with this when we matched and I really hoped they wouldn't push me to have one if the ultrasound revealed "healthy babies". I was seriously more worried that they'd want an amnio for no good reason, than I was worried about there being something wrong with the babies, because again, I really felt that everything would be ok.
Yesterday I went in for our ultrasound appointment and asked the technician to keep the sexes a surprise and to place them in an envelope for me to reveal as a surprise to T&Y via Skype after the appointment. The tech. put the wand on my abdomen and I was immediately relieved to see that, yep, there were still two babies in there. She measured both babies and we watched them as they did their little dances. Baby B has always been the active one while Baby A seems lazy and laid back. It's amazing how much they've grown over the past few weeks. Over the past week I have felt movement more consistently and it's much more noticeable from the inside and out, which I am really enjoying and can't wait until it's noticeable enough to catch on video for T&Y. They really love hearing the updates and that I'm feeling movement now. They're so excited!
After the appointment, the tech. left the room to have the specialist come in and wrap everything up. I wondered the whole time if the tech. would have a different expression, like maybe a more concerned expression, if something severe had been found. The specialist came in and announced that the babies look great. Baby A is head down (although I know that can change by the minute!) and Baby B is transverse/breech. There were some minor concerns to watch for. Baby A is measuring 1 week ahead and at 11 oz., which is perfectly fine, but his/her belly was a little bigger than "normal" for his/her size, and they want to keep an eye on that. Baby B's cord inserts at a weird part of the placenta (the side, I think?) instead of in the front. While this CAN potentially hinder nourishment and cause Baby B to lack in growth, Baby B was measuring right on for dates and at 9 oz., they didn't seem overly concerned. Because it's a twin pregnancy, I'll be monitored more closely anyways, but these minor concerns are also something they will keep a watchful eye on while I go in for more regular ultrasounds. I was also dying to know what the sexes were and I knew T&Y were anxiously awaiting my Skype, so I hurried out of there and made it back to work to let them know how everything went. I was happy to share that the babies look great, I talked about the minor concerns, but that everything really looked great, and then they asked about the sexes. I opened the envelopes to reveal that Baby A is a BOY and Baby B is a GIRL! Completely the opposite of what I was originally guessing. They are SOOOOO happy! They of course just want healthy babies, but to have one of each is an extra added bonus and just what they would have wished for. I'm so excited for them! They are going to start thinking of names and they'd like to hear me say them in English, I thought that was really sweet :)
My OB called later to tell me that he received the report and that there weren't any concerns. I have my next appointment on June 14th for my regular OB appointment and another ultrasound on July 16th for another growth ultrasound. Over the past week I have really popped in my belly area. The picture I've included is from 18 weeks and I'm so serious when I say I've grown so much more since then! Even my co-workers have commented on my sudden growth. If I can grow this much in 3-4 days......I don't even want to THINK about what will happen the rest of the pregnancy!
I'm still very tired, all of the time. Like I said last time, I'm almost completely at peace with knowing this will probably only get worse as I get bigger. I know that a single small cup of coffee makes a world of difference, so I don't allow myself to feel guilty for having one every once in a while. My boobs still lactate/leak on a very regular basis, which is just fine. I'm actually already uncomfortable sleeping on my side at night (my hips mostly), and I'm a side sleeper anyways.......I remember this happening with Kaleb. When I wasn't "allowed" to sleep on my stomach or back, I wanted to, even though I've always been a side sleeper. I sleep wrapped around a body pillow and another pillow wedged behind me to keep me from rolling onto my back. Last night I had a contraction that was so strong it woke me from a dead sleep and basically caused me to leap out of bed to figure out what the hell was happening. As soon as I stood up, it went away. That was a little scary. I get up to pee about 3 times each night on average. I have been able to avoid heartburn at night for the most part by eating a very small dinner and then limiting myself to a little fruit, or half a watermelon sometimes (hey, I can't help myself) at night. I force myself to drink at least 64 oz. of water throughout the day and, no,even after doing this for about a year now, my body still hasn't adjusted to it and I spend, what seems like, half the day in the bathroom and the other half contemplating how long I can hold out before I go back to the bathroom. I am still pretty good about watching what I eat. I don't want to gain more than necessary, but I'll admit it is SO hard because I really want sweets, doughnuts, chocolate, candy, and as I sit here I realize I've been obsessing about Perkin's strawberry pie for over a month and ALMOST went to get some tonight. If I hadn't had CherryBerry with Kaleb for his last-day-of-school treat, I seriously would have driven to Perkin's for just one slice. Tomorrow......
All in all, I'd say we're smooth sailin' right now and I'm really happy about it! I feel good, the babies are healthy, T&Y are ecstatic.......I couldn't ask for more!
Today marks 17 weeks and 2 days. It's not a significant mile marker to most, but to be several weeks free of complications is an amazing thing for all of us at this point. I have the same complaints, I'm so tired beyond belief that it actually brought me to tears yesterday. I'll blame it on hormones because I know that's most of it :) I am ALMOST at peace with the fact that I will most likely rely on even just 4 oz. of coffee every single day just to survive and have even the slightest grip on my sanity. Right now, it's totally worth it.
Memorial Day weekend was a much needed long weekend without the kids and quality time spent with my family. Sunday was my birthday (my last one, I'm going to stay 29 forever. Actually, I take that back, it was my 5th time turning 25, so I'm going to be 25 forever, okay?) I have this fear of getting older. I don't know why, but when I think of aging, I get panicked and feel depressed. Terry is 43 and he talks freely about his age and doesn't seem to have a care in the world about it. I wish I could feel that same way. I know it's a normal thing (well, aging is, but so is not wanting to age), but I try not to think about it. I never know what to ask for for my birthday and my family finally gave up and started finding cute things that they knew I would like but wouldn't necessarily buy for myself (shoes, garden ornaments, etc.) and money from my parents so I will actually buy something for myself. I'm a very frugal person. I don't shop for myself, I don't ask for gifts because I feel like I have everything I could ever want (except for a house to call our own, that's coming soon I think!). So, I feel blessed! Saturday Terry had the entire day planned out for us. He surprised me with a trip to the horse races, which was awesome because I've mentioned about a dozen times over the past 3 years that "I'm GOING to the horse races at least once this year!" We hadn't made it over the past few years, so it was really sweet that he planned this for us. Mini-doughnuts are an absolute must-have if I go somewhere that serves them (fresh), so we indulged in a bag of mini-doughnuts and cheered for our horses. After the races we went to our favorite wing restaurant and had our tasty chicken wings. It was a great day!
Sunday we went to my parents' for dinner and spent the afternoon hanging out, just lounging around and talking. My favorite time is time spent with my family and I cherish every moment of it. Monday morning T&Y started calling in the morning and I finally sent them a message and told them I was still in bed and staying put until I felt like getting up. I felt bad, but we were exhausted and took advantage of not having our kids to get up for! The rest of the day was spent mattress and house shopping. One of those is much more fun than the other, I'll give you three guesses :)
So, now onto that dreaded word again...."exhausted". I struggle with extreme fatigue/lethargy/exhaustion on a daily basis and it's usually around the same time, I've noticed. It usually causes me to feel very out of breath, almost like I'm going to pass out, nauseous, and desperate. I'm no stranger to fatigue, I've been dealing with chronic fatigue for years and I will admit that this is definitely the worst it's ever been, but it's obvious as to why. During my last OB appointment, I asked if it was OK for me to start taking SOMETHING...ANYTHING...to help. I was thinking Vitamin D and Iron. My OB thought that was a great idea and to add Vitamin C to help with the iron absorption. Now, I'm going to be brutally honest here, so skip forward if you would rather not hear the nitty gritty of what pregnancy brings to some women..I'm not usually one to talk about this next subject although it doesn't bother me to hear about others'. I am not a "regular" person, bathroom-wise, to begin with. I never have been. I "go" once every 5 days on average and it hasn't bothered me until surrogacy. With the medications, dehydration, hormones, bloating,etc., it can make things a LOT worse in that area. And there you have it.....my very first hemorrhoid. I have never had one before. Mine isn't big (my OB barely even noticed it), but it's there and, although I can't feel it and it isn't bothersome physically for the most part, I think about it ALLLLL the time and am quite obsessive with my witchhazel and cotton balls, if ya know what I mean. So when the mention of Iron came into play, I also mentioned that I heard it could make those things worse. Now enter, stool softeners. To help with my irregularity (which, remember, didn't bother me until just this past year) I have tried my hand at gentle laxitives from straight ex-lax to milk of magnesia and also fiber tablets. I've been told by people who have used these things that "oh yeah, I take double the dose and am able to go right away and feel amazing afterwards, cleans me right out!" Um, they never mentioned that they were laxative junkies. Which is so not true for me. I take HALF the dose and nothing happens for 12 or so hours and then BAM, I'm in so much discomfort and stomach pain that I can't sleep nor can I function or feel OK during the day. I never know when it's going to kick in, and half the time it doesn't do anything but cause massive pain. Fail.
One more fun topic of pregnancy, boobage leakage. I didn't experience any leakage of breastmilk with Kaleb until I was at least 8 months pregnant, and it wasn't so much that I was leaking as it was that I could get some breastmilk if I squeezed my breast/nipple hard enough (I don't even know why I even got to the point of squeezing my boob or nipple, don't ask). So imagine my astonishment when I started leaking breastmilk about one month ago, and it only gets more and more frequent with every day. I "let down" several times in an hour, but it's not much more than the feeling and some slight leakage. It really doesn't bother me, except that I want to know that it is not some sort of indicator that I might go into very pre-term labor. Aside from feeling like I should be breastfeeding a newborn already, I'm looking at the upside and feeling confident that I will have NO problems pumping breastmilk for the twins when they are born. I didn't have any issues with Kaleb, but I know it can be different with each pregnancy.
During my last OB appointment, they drew my 2nd round of blood for the last part of the Nuchal Translucency test (remember, that's the 1st trimester test preformed to detect abnormalities). I am not worried about those results, but I know T&Y worry, so it will be good to have the results soon. I don't want them to worry. He also listened to the heartbeats, but admitted that it is hard to tell whether he is detecting the same twin twice or two different heartbeats. By what others have told me, I was expecting him to measure my uterus that day, but he didn't. Some days I feel like I'm pretty big, and other days I feel the opposite. I think it seriously depends on whatever I eat, because I tend to get a "food baby" easily, anyways, which makes me look like I'm pregnant when I'm not.
My next appointment is the BIG appointment! When I went to schedule it, my OB instructed me to return in 4 weeks but the receptionist informed me that he would be out of the clinic that week, so I either needed to come in the week before (which would put me at 19 weeks 5 days) or the week after. Can you guess which one I picked?! Again, I'll give you 3 guesses :) We are impatient people, us surrogates and intended parents, I'm tellin' ya! June 14th will be a very exciting day for us. I am going to steal the idea of another surrogate and have the ultrasound tech. put the sexes of each baby into envelopes. When I return from my appointment and get to work, I plan to Skype with T&Y and we can open the envelopes together :)
Today I received, from T&Y, some awesome pregnancy belly oil for the prevention of stretch marks. That was such an awesome gift! I haven't mentioned a thing about the fact that I already obsessively apply oily lotion that I made myself, at least twice per day. How the heck do they know me this well?! I can't wait to use it tonight! They are so sweet!
On to another few weeks of boring-ness, and I'll take it!
I'm happy to begin this post by saying that we've had, yet another, uneventful week! I never thought I'd be so happy to have most of my boring life back :)
I received a message from my OB a few days after our first Nuchal Translucency test that everything looked normal, yay! There are two parts to this test, the first was an ultrasound and blood work, the second part will be follow-up blood work at my next appointment. I will also have the quad screening blood work preformed at my next appointment. The quad screening is similar to the Nuchal screening, whereas they both detect chromosomal abnormalities in the fetuses.
My nausea seems to have completely disappeared, which is pretty scary because now I find myself craving junk food and it's so hard not to cave into those desires, ESPECIALLY when the smell of fresh doughnuts is the ONLY thing I can smell when I walk into Cub foods to get something "healthy" for lunch. Damn you Cub foods, I am sticking to my guns, but you make it SO hard some days! I don't know how long I'll make it. Today I gave in to banana Laffy Taffy and a bottle of squirt. I saw a woman drinking a can of squirt and was determined to do the same.
I have terrible acid reflux at night and I can only imagine it has to do with having the extra added pressure on my already very sensitive and squished stomach. I've resorted to taking Pepcid AC, which, according to my "safe during pregnancy" fact sheet that I so often resort to, is ok. And....it works WONDERS! It gives me cotton mouth, but it also eliminates about 2 times out of the 6 times I seem to have to get up to pee at night. Bonus!
The worst symptom of all, which I'm sure almost every pregnant woman can empathize with, is E-H-A-U-S-T-I-O-N. I have very low blood pressure to begin with, and I continue to make nurses question their reading. There are some days when I manage to get through a day feeling tired, but a manageable tired and with little to no help from half cup of coffee. Other days, I'm not so lucky. Some days I seriously wonder "what the hell is HAPPENING to me?!", I can barely even make it through a shower at that point. Blinking my eye-lids wears me out. BUT, I still can't complain. I am moving along nicely, we're healthy, I'm not bleeding, I have no other complaints and am so happy as things are really starting to get underway.
For the past couple of weeks, I had been promising T & Y a "belly pic". But when it came down to it, I felt ridiculous taking one because there was nothing to show for it. I waited until today, at exactly 14 weeks, to take my first ones. I realize that most people might not think so, but I feel like I am already HUGE at such an early point in the pregnancy. I kept chalking it up to being bloated and the fact that I've never been a "regular" person, if ya know what I mean, and I'm especially not regular now (sorry if TMI). I didn't begin to have even the slightest "bump" until I was about 6 months pregnant with Kaleb. I know, I was quite a bit younger and it was my first, but still. I'm excited to have this little bump, but also very scared about the strong chances that I will get to be pretty big. I carried very low as well, I think because I have such a long torso, more on that later. So I hope these babies will take full advantage of the extra freakish space I have and stretch out up-and-down before they start to stretch outwards :). A pregnant woman can dream, can't she?!
I learned the brighter side of getting bigger. Three words, maternity clothes shopping! In the beginning of this journey, I poo pooed buying maternity clothes because I was lucky enough to wear my normal clothes throughout my pregnancy with Kaleb and I was NOT about to let a moo-moo maternity outfit cramp my style at this point. No siree, not this girl. Saturday I finally took the plunge and looked for maternity clothing. I figured I'd just look for some jeans, because the little bump that I do have, is sitting pretty low and makes wearing jeans, pretty uncomfortable. Insert my love of yoga pants. I could wear them all the time. But yoga pants don't fly at work, not even on "casual-day". Target's maternity jeans were not impressive, but their clearance rack was :) I found a few springy shirts and went into the fitting room. This should be noted in history, ALL items fit and were purchased......this NEVER happens. I couldn't believe it. All this time, I've left stores feeling defeated and depressed because shirts don't fit my abnormally long-ass torso and ape-like arms. I joke about how my "tank tops" are really "normal peoples' dresses", but I'm dead serious, I really DO wear tank tops that are meant to be dresses! Buying bigger shirts just makes them baggier, not longer, and I'm slender. So I wear colored long tank-tops (dresses for most people) under every shirt that I wear. It turns out that some maternity shirts, the "non-tentish style ones", fit awkward shaped people like me, perfectly! Halleluiah! I was on such a happy-high from this revelation that I went to JcPenney's after Target, but quickly noted that they do NOT have a maternity section. I found plenty of longer tops that will suffice and bought a larger size of cute capris in case spring/summer does decide to visit Minnesota, afterall. I also bought two colorful tube tops to use as "belly-bands", just like I did with my own pregnancy. On to Old Navy......oh Old Navy, where do I begin? Their clearance section makes my head spin every time I go there. When I shop, just in general, I'm extremely indecisive and most store employees probably assume I'm staking out the store by the way I pace and pick things up, put them back, pick them up, put them back, etc. I spent a LOT of time going through Old Navy's clearance racks and they were having a massive sale, which would make most people happy, but nervous-nelly, buyers remorse ridden, return-aholics such as myself, can't take the pressure of having so many deals just waiting to be taken. Although they did not have a maternity section, they certainly DID have several maternity items that had been returned from their online store and I jumped at the 50% discount. I bought some maternity jeans that look less maternity-ish, so I was happy with that and I found several very colorful tank-tops that are long and fitted, to hopefully add some serious style to my spring and summer months as I get bigger. I will not lie, I receive a "maternity clothing allowance" from my intended parents (this is very standard and means that I get reimbursed for a certain amount of maternity clothing), and it turned what used to be a nightmare of an experience, into a fun one for once. I'm very appreciative. It should also be noted that, aside from Kaleb's clothes, I shop for clothes about once every 2-3 years for myself, if even. I still wear clothes that I've had for over 7-8+ years. So I'm joking about being stylish, because I'm not, and the point that I am not a shopaholic...well maybe now I am, should also be noted. I just felt the need to share my awesome Saturday :)
I've been off of all of my medications for almost one whole week and it feels GREAT! I get to go straight to bed when I'm tired, no more stuffing vials in my bra to warm, taking pills, and finding new places to inject. My butt feels amazing :) I have also not bled for 4 weeks now! This calls for a celebration! I am also just beginning to have a little bit of a "bump". Most who have no idea I'm pregnant, would not notice, but those who do know, have been spying on my stomach every day in hopes that they'll begin to see something. I plan to take a picture this Sunday to send to T&Y as my first official belly picture. It will not look like much to them, but I promise there's something starting there :)
Today was my first OB appointment and I was very nervous about it. A single topic that has been weighing so heavily on my mind.....was about to be broached and answered. Will I find an OB that will support my desire to deliver vaginally as long as Baby A is head down? I had never been to this clinic before and googled reviews of the OBs at this particular clinic and others around here and this guy was definitely a few peoples' favorite, so I figured I'd check him out and hope for the best. Sitting in the room waiting for him to come in, I'm going over everything in my head; what to ask, how to describe what I want without sounding demanding, what to tell him about our journey so far, etc. In walks this almost 7" tall man to shake my hand, whoa! At that moment, everything I had been going over in my head for weeks was temporarily forgotten. This guy was so tall! I almost felt the need to stand up to shake his hand, rather than stay sitting, just so I could reach! Anyways, back to the important stuff. I liked him immediately. He was professional, yet very personable. He had delivered a surrobaby just one year ago for a same-sex male couple from Mexico. I was well behaved and allowed a few topics to pass before I brought up my desire to deliver vaginally. Much to my amazement, he was supportive and on board. I expressed my fear of being delivered by an OB who just happened to be on that evening, who would not allow me the chance and my OB said that he will be discussing my case and my desires with all of his OB team when it gets closer to D day and if anyone is not entirely supportive and comfortable, there will be a back-up, just for me! Amazing! I am so relieved! Now, the only thing I have to worry about now is making sure Baby A cooperates :) Oh, and we mustn't forget all of the other restrictions that have now been lifted. Terry will be a mighty happy man, not only can I do more with lifting/cleaning/etc. (not that I wasn't doing a few of those things all along) we can now be a "normal" couple again....as normal as a couple can be for allowing the girlfriend to carry the children of two other men.
After my OB appointment, I went to my Nuchal Translucency screening. For those of you who do not know what an NT screening/scan is, it's where they measure the fluid in an
area in the back of the neck, to determine or rule out any severe
abnormalities such as Down's Syndrome. They measure other parts of the babies as well, but this is, from my understanding, the most indicative measurement for abnormalities. I'm not nervous about it, but I'm sure the guys are as they are typical parents-to-be, wanting to know that everything is well with their babies. The ultrasound tech. preformed an ultrasound and was very amused by the babies and their movement. Baby A was pretty laid back and relaxed while Baby B kept kicking and moving around. I don't know why I get the feeling that Baby A is a girl and Baby B is a boy, but that is going to be my official guess until we actually find out. Both babies continue to measure spot on and have identical heartbeat measurements. They are both also equal distance from my cervix, so determining who is Baby A and Baby B, can be tricky for the tech. She was happy to hear that she is not the only one who was not able to name them appropriately, immediately :) T&Y were so excited for today's appointment. They were expecting results from the NT scan immediately, but I quickly explained the reality of it to them and said we would find out next week some time. They were also really excited to see some updated ultrasound images so I was sure to send them as soon as I got back from my appointment.
My mom was checking in with me last night and asked if I would want my family at the hospital for any part of it. I said I'd love to have them there, before, during and after the birth. It would mean a lot to me and I have imagined that all along. My dad was under the impression that it wouldn't be appropriate since it's not "our" babies. I can understand where he might get that initial impression of the process. If T&Y seemed more reserved, and I knew they wouldn't appreciate the extra company, I would make sure to follow their wishes. But we have a good relationship and I know they would appreciate the added support, knowing that it would also help me during that amazing moment. If I felt that it was too overwhelming for them, I'd send people out of the room for a bit or make them take turns :) I mentioned to my mom that I think it would be fun to throw them a mini-baby shower when they get here, just for fun with our family and all of the people who have been supporting us as they are excited for T&Y's journey, too. My mom said she'd love to help me throw one and that means so much to me. I can't wait!
Our next OB appointment is May 24th and I'll also have my blood drawn one more time for the 2nd half of the NT screening. All in all, things are looking up and I couldn't be happier!
The past few weeks have been pretty emotional, so I sincerely thank all of you for your kind words of support and wisdom, it really helps knowing that others are there to support me! I really wanted this to be a "happy blog" for others to read and didn't intend for it to turn out to be so negative and "venty", so I hope that will change very soon!
I went in for a repeat ultrasound (2 by now, actually) and it looks like the hematoma is stabilizing, which is great! Although it hasn't gone down very much, it hasn't grown, either. The babies are doing well. Both have been measuring identically, even the heartbeats were identical this last time! During my 10 week 3 day ultrasound, I was able to see the babies moving around quite a bit. They're beginning to take on more of a human-like appearance, rather than little blobs :) T&Y are over the moon and love their babies already. I love being able to share the pictures with them, knowing that they become more and more excited!
Mornings are like a box of chocolates right now, although I really am very lucky, because none of those chocolates include vomiting :) If it's going to be a rough morning, it usually means I have to sit periodically and take breaks from getting ready to keep from passing out. I have low blood pressure as it is, so passing out is definitely a familiar thing for me and I know the instant I need to sit and put my head between my legs. While I don't have my "normal" appetite back yet and it seems that, come dinner time, I am consistently not feeling "well" enough to eat, I can and do eat often throughout the day, so I still have nothing to complain about in that area. How did I get so lucky?
Over the last weekend, Terry's son had a soccer tournament in St. Louis, MO and we took it upon ourselves to take the trip to hopefully enjoy some warmer weather and some exciting soccer games. I will admit, I was very nervous about the possibility of bleeding while we were away and with only porta-potties around the soccer fields. I went well prepared with all of my "bleeding necessities" on hand at all times and I knew where every bathroom was. But I am happy to report..........I am over 2 weeks post last bleeding episode! A whole 2+ weeks of not bleeding, only the "old stuff", which is an amazing feeling, I'm tellin' ya! I was sick with the seasonal sinus/flu stuff that's going around, so I was kind of a bump on a log, but the weather was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and made the 1000 mile round trip SO worth it! Saturday was windy and icky, but Sunday was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! Warmer, sunnier weather, does WONDERS for me. Meanwhile, I was getting reports from people back home that we received even more of this nasty white stuff and I was NOT looking forward to returning to it! Spring, where are you?
After my last ultrasound, I was released to my own OB. I will also be completely weaned off of my meds by 4/20, yay!!!! Maybe by the the end of the pregnancy, I'll begin to get the feeling back in my butt :)
Because I am not going to the same clinic that I had my son at (I am going to the same hospital, though), I am really nervous about finding "the right OB". One of my first priorities is to find one that will not be "C-section happy" and will allow me the opportunity and chance to deliver vaginally if Twin A is head down. This is very important to me. I meet my OB on 4/26 for the first time and I'm going to do my best not nail him with that question the instant he walks in the door. I might give him until after our initial hand-shake :)
